I am currently in a limbo. My dear Ira has no Yaya and we have to go to work. After New Year, her Ate Kriselle has been AWOL and has been giving me headaches. Let me spare you the story as to how she did it for it will take a long one.

Kriselle’s mother worked for my Ima in Pampanga until my berserked Ima fired her. Now she doesn’t want me to take back crazy Kriselle. I understand Ima’s point. After nearly 29 years, I have come to understand my mom’s idiosyncrasies. We are both each other’s best and worst friend. She has been the one who hired all my housemaids before, and some unfortunately left citing her as the reason :(. She has exerted too many efforts into finding me the best maid there is, to no avail. When I was still single, she found me a girl named Car-car, who worked for me more than 2 years. Car-car is the best that I’ve had so far. Ima is my agent when it comes to nannies. But when she doesn’t like the nanny anymore, even though I still like to keep her, she gets annoyingly mad and in the end, she gets her way.

But right now, I have very limited choices. My hubby and I did not come from an affluent family. We did not inherit a house to live in, a business to manage and monies to spend. As we are just starting new, we are at the point of acquiring things and paying for them. We are both lucky to have jobs that pay fine. Combined together, our income is just enough for our daily expenses and some luxuries. That being said, I cannot  afford at the moment to be a stay-at-home-mom. Oh how I wish I could!

Even when I was single, I used to hire a house helper. It was more of convenience for me. I needed someone who will look after the house everyday. I needed someone who will wash and iron my clothes. Don’t get me wrong. I know how to do ALL household chores. Its just a perk I have gotten used to. After all, I felt I was entitled to lay around the house whenever I wanted to. It was some sort of reward for working all day long.

I have lost count of how many housemaids I have had in the past. As to Ira’s nanny, I think she has had five already in just 7months of her life. Count out the two months that I did not hire one after giving birth. So on the average, its like one nanny every month. Neighbors think we are some mean people who would boss around the house that’s why these maids leave as soon as they receive their first paycheck. Oh, come on now, they oughta know better than that!

Even if there is a maid in the house, in the past and even now, its either my brother Jme or I who works in the kitchen. I clean Ira’s feeding bottles as soon as I get home. Hubby prepares her milk and clothes and other things every morning while I take a bath. I personally wash Ira’s little clothes. For me, nothing beats the feeling of personally taking care of my family’s needs. Even the maids notice that I work around the house more than other wives, considering that I have a full time work.

As I called up home just now, Ate Kriselle is already there. Hubby and I intend to talk to her seriously. As in, serious adult talk. She said she is willing to go down her knees just for us to take her back. She assured me that she’s willing to be jailed if she leaves again (as if!). I am keeping my fingers crossed that I made the right decision. As I’m typing down my blog, my heart is fervently praying to God that things be better this time. Ira needs someone with her and Kriselle has proven to be good for her. Had it not been for Ira, I wouldn’t need a maid. It would mean less expenses for us.

This is what I told Ima in our last text exchange when she said that she was talking to a new replacement but I opted to take back Kriselle and that I was taking Kriselle’s side:

“Ur reason is jst the same as ate nida’s. Pareho nyo lang gs2 protektahan mga anak nyo. U know dat I understand u and I appreciate all ur efforts in finding us a gud maid. Pero kung may mhanap ka ngyn, jst like crisel and other maids b4, wlang kasiguruhan na tatagalan kami. C crisel ngyn alam ko na ang topak, easier to cure. Kung magkaron ng bago, tuturuan ko na nman tpos di ko alam likaw ng bituka, mangangapa na nman ako. Hndi ko cla dinadamayan, anak ko lang ang iniisip ko. I am putting aside all my emotions and anger and giving Ira wat I can.” (pardon the text spelling, quoted verbatim here.)

Right now, most of my decisions are not about me anymore. It is either about Ira or the family as a whole. I am sure in time Ima will understand.

UPDATE: Ate Kriselle seems okay after a week. But my Ima is still annoyingly angry at me.

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