Tag Archive: my princess ira


First Hospital Experience

A year ago, Doc Abad, my very pretty Ob/Gyne, advised me for admission due to my urinary tract infection. I was in my last trimester then and was not really experiencing pain except that the results for my annual physical exam at work yielded to Anemia and UTI. I have a nephrolithiasis and have a recurrent UTI and was undergoing medication before I got pregnant. Sure, I have the knack for salty foods and can barely make the requirement of 8 glasses of water a day, but I never thought it could affect my pregnancy that much.

My OB said that I have to see her personally after I get a urine culture. The results showed that only IV antibiotics can be used on me by reason of my pregnancy. I have well prepared myself for a hospitalization for my baby’s delivery, but not for this one. When Doc Abad told me that, I thought uh-oh, I’m not so ready yet for the hospital. I have always been scared of needles and the mere smell of the hospital makes my tummy tumble upside down. But for the precious little person inside me, I had to do it.

the first of many needles that year

So to my veins went the needles and the everyday battle with the nurses and the taking of the medicines lasted for exactly seven days. It has been exactly a year since that day.

The sad part of that hospitalization experience is that my dear hubby had to take days off from work and the date of my discharge unfortunately had to fall on my hubby’s birthday. I am the luckiest person coz my hubby was so understanding that he didn’t even feel sad about spending  half of his special day in the hospital.

We were still able to celebrate his birthday with a lovely (but spur-of-the-moment) dinner prepared by my Ima with the whole family, in-laws included.

It was a very surreal but illuminating experience. I learned that you can overcome even your most dreaded fears, that you are strong beyond your beliefs. That your fears are nothing compared to your capabilities as a person. I happily went through that experience without a scratch.

More importantly, I felt good that I was able to get through it with my dear hubby beside me each and everyday. He never left my side. Not even a moment. Oh well, except for the times he had to buy food for us, he was always at my side. He did almost everything for me. He bathed me, changed my clothes, combed my hair and fed me. He did things for me that I never thought he could. I realized then how much he can do for me. And if only for that, my first hospital experience was worth all the needles and all the pains. 🙂

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11 Months of Ira

I didn’t get to blog on her day itself because of an out-of-town hearing. But just like in the past months, we celebrated it with family and had a lovely dinner at home. She is becoming a big girl now. She knows how to dance when we sing to her. She intently watches cartoons now. She has mastered the art of saying Hi (using her tiny but loud voice) to everyone she sees. She has just grown up so fast that I miss that cuddly little bear that sleeps all day in our bed. This will be the last among her monthly birthdays because soon, she will be a big girl and turn one year old. *sniff sniff

Lest I be too emotional in my post, I just want to greet (belatedly) my sweet darling Ira. Thank you baby girl for coming into our lives. I will never get tired of thanking you for each tiny moment we share together. Thank you for the lovely kisses you give me when I scold you or whenever you feel like it. Thank you for the sweet hugs and for the laughters. Thank you for the balance you bring to Mommy and Daddy. You are my life’s compass and I know you bring me to the right direction. For everything my baby, thank you.

Soon you will be talking endlessly and we will be exchanging stories. Soon I will have to cry because I made you cry. There will be fights between us I know and we will have to survive them all. I promise not to be very strict on you and to be very understanding as I could possibly be.

Please help me and Daddy on this, for we cannot be good parents if you make it impossible for us. I can see now that you are a good girl, and please continue to be one, okay?

I will see you at home when Mommy’s desk is clear. We will play a lot and roll over the bed just like you love to. Love you little one. 🙂

My Princess Ira @ 10 months

Holy week last year, I was in my third trimester already and did not want to travel far. Hence, hubby and I just stayed at home and watched DVDs. We just went Bisita Iglesia on Good Friday and enjoyed the silence of our home the rest of the week.

Today is much different. We have a tumbling little darling at home who endlessly blabbers and demands attention most of the time that make me doubt if I will be able to rest. It would probably be a luxury for me this long weekend to be able to use the internet without a frantic yelling from Ira. Add that to the fact that her Ate is not so reliable as the previous one.

I am happy though that Ryan expressed his intentions to do Bisita Iglesia again this Friday, except that Zsa -Zsa doesn’t seem cooperative these days. All in all, I just want us to rest and I just want Ryan to be able to catch up on his review  for his upcoming LOMA exam this May. Ate Kriselle’s sudden disappearance has caused a lot of frenzy in our lives that many things suffered setbacks. We are at the point of recovering from these setbacks right now and I am hoping this Holy Week can be a good start.

My Ima is probably wallowing about the fact that I am reluctant to go home to Pampanga because of Ryan’s review. My dear husband did not really ask it from me, but I took it upon myself to decide to stay at home for his review. Maybe we can make it up with Ima next time. Maybe next year we can come with a better plan for Holy Week for the entire family. Ira will be a little bigger and we can bring her almost anywhere.

This week though is meant to be for quiet time. It is meant to be for praying, for assessing our values and for praising God for all the blessings we have despite our being sinners. I am not a pious person and I hardly qualify as an upright one. But I try my best to work on the relationships I have with the people around me.

Right now, I am just quietly raising my thoughts to God and am infinitely asking for forgiveness for all my iniquities. I pray that I can be a better daughter to Him and be a better human being for everyone else. I pray that I can truly inculcate in me the lessons of this Holy Week and imbibe it not just today but for the rest of the year, or of my life. I pray for everyday guidance because my life is not just about me anymore, but it is also about another little person whom I have brought out into this world. 🙂

For all of us, I hope we can all just pray intently and renew our values. For those who have chosen to spend the week out of town, may it be in a beach or in a pilgrim, I pray for their safety and I hope that this week’s lessons be with them wherever they go. I hope we can all take this opportunity to just be calm and be quiet and forget about the hassles of this world. For several days, we get to take a leave from work and be with our loved ones. That in itself a big blessing from God.

Have a truly holy week everyone! May we all be continually blessed by God. 🙂

Holy Week

The first thing I do upon waking up, aside from thanking God for another waking day, is check my cellular phone for time and for new messages, if any. This morning was not any different, except for the first message I saw. It was a text message from a good friend and colleague, Atty. Inocencio Vivero, Jr. It was a message informing family and friends that his eldest daughter, Lianne, passed away this morning.

I sat up immediately to check if I was reading it correctly. I told Ryan about the news and he was likewise surprised. He checked his phone and had the same message from Ino. I sighed heavily and almost cried on my knees.

Lianne looked as healthy as any bouncy girl. She was just eight years old, if I’m not mistaken. She was plump and always smiling. I was not really her godmother but she always treated me like one.

As of this time, I really do not know the immediate cause of her death. All I knew is that her Leukemia had relapsed recently. We were supposed to see each other in a birthday party of a friend’s son but it coincided with Lianne’s check-up. Days after, Ino informed us that the Leukemia had relapsed. I did not specifically know that she was confined in the hospital for the last weeks or so had I not seen in his Facebook account. I have been telling Ryan yesterday that if she is still in the hospital in the weekend, then we’ll go see her.

Ino was my classmate in college but we went to different law schools. I can say that we were really never friends before but when we worked together for the Elections last 2007, we bonded so well that we became good friends. I even got him as Ira’s godfather.

We started working together September of 2006. It was around that time when Lianne was diagnosed with Leukemia. I always admired how his wife, Sheba, took care of their children, being a stay-at-home mom. The day we found out the possibility of her illness, I went to San Juan de Dios Hospital and accompanied Ino and Sheba. I was not yet a mother then but I already felt their pain. They appreciated the fact that I was there because they did not know what to do. Came then the successive cycles of chemotherapy and the continuous medications. Everything was doing well for Lianne. Personally, I included her in every novena I had. I always commiserated with them because for a very young couple, it was a very burdensome test from God.

But they did no flinch. They knew Lianne could survive the Big C.

Lianne, on her part, showed more courage that a 6-year-old child may hardly have. It was difficult for all the needles that came through her skin but she never complained. I have seen other children confined in a hospital and they are either hysterically crying all the time or just plain grumpy. But not Lianne. She was as pacified as she can be. Whenever she got scared because tests will be made on her, she would quietly shed tears. When blood came out of her nose, my friend Chubby and I instantly cried. Sheba jokingly said that there is a no crying policy in the hospital. Their battle for Lianne lasted for more than three years and they mightily survived.

July last year, Lianne was pronounced to have zero cancer cells. It was a very joyous thing for Ino’s entire family. I was one of the many friends who shared with their joy.  I even remember Ino blogging seriously about it. They even visited our home late December last year and I cooked dinner for them. They liked the Nachos I prepared and gobbled on fries while playing Wii with her sister Daphne and brother Joaqs.

But just this March, the doctor of Lianne said the Leukemia relapsed. I knew so well that Lianne could surpass this one as much as she did the last time. I always admired the little girl’s strength. But I was wrong. Maybe she was tired. And maybe, she did not want to further subject her family to more agony.

I cannot, for the life of me, begin to imagine the pain of Ino and Sheba. I am a mother now and I understand, more or less, all the pains that come with being a parent. I cannot even blink my eyes to even try imagining how they feel right now. I will not wish such pain on anyone. But I know they will come through this. This I have learned in my regular visits to Noemi Dado’s blog.

Lianne’s death came just in time for the Holy Week when we need to mull over things and re-assess our lives. All deaths leave us a lesson that time is fleeting and that we have to seize each moment. I am glad, somehow, that Lianne’s entire family was able to pamper her for the last two years or so. Maybe thats the goodness of knowing someone is ill, it gives you a chance to savor each day with them.

I am hoping though that we will all learn to pamper our loved ones, in a way that we will feel its enough (although it will never be enough) so that when the end inevitably comes, we will be assured that we have made them feel our love.

When I asked Ino if they need any help with anything, his reply to me was:

“Magkita kita lang tayong masaya sa harap ni lianne, ok na yun mare.”

I almost cried with his reply. Cliche’ aside,I am sure Lianne is happy now.  She was a very good girl and accepted her plight with the maturity that none of us may have.

I remember Lianne’s reply when Ino and Sheba told her that she may lose her hair because of the chemotherapy. She said and I quote (not verbatim):

“Magsusuot na lang ako ng hat. Bilhan nyo na lang ako ng hat.”

I was deeply touched by her acceptance. Lianne’s hair grew back just fine, it even became beautifully curly, like that of a doll.

I will no longer see her shy smile.  Ino will no longer share stories about her daughter’s battle with Leukemia. He will no longer ask for prayers for Lianne’s recovery. I will always look for her unassuming eyes. After she gives me a kiss on the cheek, she will always just answer shyly to my questions. I have always admired Lianne’s good heart. Her kindness never failed to light up a dim room. It always reverberated to touch my heart. For the few years that I have come to know her, I have learned from her a lot about loving, giving and fighting.

Being a mother myself, I know how difficult it is to go through the days knowing that your very precious child has passed away. As they all say, no parent should bury his own child. Just thinking about it brings throngs of pain to my heart. And I will not even attempt to tell Ino nor Sheba that things will be okay. I will just let them be and let them grieve for I am certain that their pain is beyond words.

Grieving is the process they have to go through and much as I try to, I will not wholly understand the process. All I can do is to pray with them. And I will do that for them until their hearts are completely healed.

I cannot deny though that it is saddening that the world lost another good soul. But I know inasmuch as Ino and Sheba know, that Lianne is now healed and happier.

We will all see her up there…someday. 🙂

It is just recently that I realized that I have not posted an entry for more than a month now. I have tons of topics to blog about, but each time I think of posting an entry, time and other factors halt me.

I have previously blogged about my problem with Ira’s caregiver. My Ima and I fought severely about taking Ate Kriselle back, my mom knowing that this maid has a knack for leaving without a word, compromising everything else in your life. Well, I fought for our dear (or not so dear) Ate Kriselle. It was my way of telling my mom that we can stand up on our own and that we make our own decisions for Ira. Turned out after all that Ima was right. Let me not dwell on the details because it gives me the worst heartache for a maid.

In sum, we are (again) looking for Ira’s yaya. Truth be told, I just want the person to be sane. I can easily teach her all the chores I need her to do and Ira’s routine. But I cannot simply impose sanity on one person. Ima arrived from Pampanga to bring a yaya but I told Ryan from day one that this person can only last for a month (that is a generous estimate already). She doesn’t even know how to put Ira to sleep. On her first day, Ira only drank one bottle of formula. She said Ira refused to drink milk in the afternoon. I was like, whaaat? One bottle for more than 8 hours? Of course Ira will refuse with all her might to drink the milk prepared in the morning! Heeelllo??? Sasakit pa tyan ng anak ko. I wanted to send her out of the house right then and there.  She has more boo boos that can make a mom go crazy, but never mind. I will spare you the opportunity of laughing your hearts out.

We are in full blown preparation for Ira’s birthday. Ria of Partycraft and I have been in constant communication about the details of Ira’s party. I am getting more tensed as days go by. Good thing I have her, she pacifies my nerves with her ever cool attitude.

Last Saturday, we took Ira, the new nanny and Ima (who decided to come last minute) to our company outing in Splash Island. It was a breath of fresh air except that there were 2600 employees (with their families) from Toyota who were also having their outing there.  So Ira and I just took a quick dip and caved in for the rest of the day in a cabana. I was surprised that Ira enjoyed the swimming immensely. She would dip her whole face in the water and be shocked after. She walked along the pool even up to chest-deep level and I never saw her got scared. I was a proud and happy mommy that day.

After that, we went to Mamplasan to buy a pair of running shoes. Hubby and I have been yearning to go there I can’t remember when. But men’s shoes ran out of sizes so I was the only one who went home with a pair. Oh, he was able to buy sandals pala. The one like Sanuk. He was happy with it na rin.

We were caught by the traffic on our way home from Susana Heights until after Alabang and Ryan was already cursing SLEX under his breath.  He really hated going to the South on account of this factor.

Over all, it was a fun-filled day. I was happy to have spent time again with my mom. We have a different relationship but we get along just fine (until the next fight, haha). I can see that she loves Ira and enjoys taking care of her more now.

When we arrived in Makati, we had to go to the Picture Company for Ira’s photo sessions in preparation for her birthday but believe me when I say that details of her session is worthy of another post.

I have a very bad headache now which I had to consult the doctor for. The doctor said it is still my recurring Myofascial Pain Sydrome. I am due for cervical spine X-ray tomorrow and have a referral to the Rehab doctor. I am really stressed coz there are just so many things to do and yet I cant seem to finish anything.  I am getting this headache because things are just all mixed up.

Maybe tomorrow will be better. And it better be. 🙂

Amidst the busy schedule of preparing things for Ira’s 1st birthday, we were surprised last week with a high grade fever from Ira.

She started to have the fever Tuesday night, with a whopping 38.8 degrees. I say whopping coz its technically the first time she has ever had fever (aside from the effect of an immunization) and it was way above what I expected. We gave her paracetamol and we weren’t able to sleep. I went on leave from work since Wednesday until Friday. For me, nothing mattered more than looking after my baby.

After several talks with Doc Cathy, we were assured there was nothing to worry since Ira was still active during the day and was eating well. But at night, Ira would refuse to sleep on the bed. She required me to stand up for hours, just like when she was just a newborn. I almost broke my back tending after her, but I didn’t want to upset her anymore than she already was. On Saturday, the rashes we were told to watch out for came out. Doc Cathy said it was just “tigdas hangin” and it was viral in nature, nothing to worry, it shall pass. But dear hubby wanted to make sure, so we went to the clinic for lab tests.

But Ira was hysterical the moment it dawned on her that blood samples will be taken from her. The Med Tech couldn’t place the rubber in her arm and said no clear veins can be seen on her. Translation:  Trouble for all of us. I knew Ira would refuse with all her might to give the blood samples. I asked if pricking will be sufficient. After several attempts and tons of decibels from Ira’s screams and cries, we gave in. Prick na lang.

Turned out that Ira is healthy naman, no dengue scare or whatever. Platelets are okay but the rashes kept coming  out. Good thing the fever was totally gone by Friday night.

I had some sort of argument with hubby coz I opposed the blood tests. I know its just to make sure that Ira is fine, but as her Mom, I knew she was fine. I knew it was nothing worse. I knew it as I held her to sleep for several days. But to buy peace, I gave in.

It was very difficult to have a sick baby. I can imagine other parents having worse cases with their babies. This is why I cry when I see people on TV who have problems with their babies. I commiserate with them. I cannot, for the life of me, see myself in a position where I am fighting against a worse kind of illness for my baby.

This is why today, on her 9th month of making our lives complete, I only have thankfulness in my heart that Ira is as healthy as she can be. She has never had coughs, colds or anything of that sort. She has never had diarrhea or any problem which needed hospitalization. Maybe because aside from prayers, I make sure that no one smokes in the house coz from experience, I know it brings a lot of sickness on babies. And no, I dont want that on my baby.

So now, Im back to work again. Piles of documents for notarization, contracts for review, and hearings for the week await me. Its okay that Ryan and I weren’t able to go on a date on Valentine’s day. There are other days for that. Ira needed us more at home.

That also applies as to questions why I went on leave for the days that she was sick. I am a mother. I am required to do more than that, if deemed necessary. Actually, for the days that I was with her, I realized more that I’d really love to stay at home, or work part time just to be with her more.

So my dear Ira, Happy 9th month birthday! Please be super well na. You scared Mommny and Daddy. Thank you for being a very strong and healthy baby. Help Mommy and Daddy be the best parents for you, ha? Mommy will cook later for you, so just wait at home. I miss you already. Those 5 days straight that Mommy had with you are by far the best days of the year for her. Love you anak.

Silent Prayer

There is no way I can call myself as a religious person. Perhaps, prayerful is the apt word. I studied in an all-girls Catholic School in High School and I have had my share of learning the Bible and praying the rosary everyday during Octobers.

In one activity we had, there was a Kuya who taught us to pray about anything and everything in our lives. He said that God is flattered whenever we bring up things to Him. He said God already knows our every prayer, our every desire. But its a joy for Him that we, as His people, turn to Him for the things we need. That lesson stuck with me… even until now.

When I was in Law School (I am known to be always late for classes), I would pray always to God not to make me late.  Hehe. I would pray that the professor has something else to attend to. I would pray that the rain would stop when its time to go home from school. When I took the Bar, I prayed that I wouldn’t have tummy aches, that my food will taste good, that I wouldn’t be sick, etc. During the examination proper, whenever my mind would go blank, I would pray that He give my pen the power to answer on its own. While waiting for the results (for a mind-numbing period of 6 months!), I would pray everyday, as in everyday, that the Examiner who will check my paper will be in perfect health and that he or she be in a good mood the moment he or she reads my answers. I had the most ridiculous sounding prayers maybe, but it worked all the time.

On one occasion, I lied to my Mom that I had classes just to get my “baon” (I know! Silly me, huh?). I went to Recto Ave. in Manila and went to a supermarket to buy with my “baon” junk foods, cookies, juice and what-have-you that I liked. I took the jeepney to get home and while the driver waited in line until its full, three men walked in and sat in different places. Oh no! I knew instantly that these men were up to something bad. I stammered in my prayers and prayed to God that I be spared from harm. Just as the jeep crossed Recto Ave., they immediately stood up and announced hold-up. I continued with my prayers and can vividly remember my exact prayer at that time:

“God, please help me become invisible. Please don’t let these bad guys see me. Please help us all here.”

I knew I stammered between Our Father and the Apostles’ Creed. During the hold-up, one of the bad guys stepped on my foot, with his back against me. I saw his fingers inside the gun, ready to pull the trigger if anyone dared to fight them. Believe it or not, the whole ordeal only lasted barely for three (3) dragging minutes. When they alighted from the jeepney, I stopped holding on to my bag and sighed a prayer of relief.

No one was harmed and only pieces of jewelery were taken away. I was never a jewelery person so I was spared. They did not dare to take away bags or ask for cellphones. I say they were good to us, compared to the hold-uppers now who are bolder and vulgar with getting their ways. I was lucky and blessed that time.

Lesson? Don’t lie to your Mom. Haha.

No, really. Such was part of what I learned. If I didn’t lie and stayed at home, I wouldn’t have experienced it. But I learned more that prayers work. They do. My prayers for the Bar really did. I passed the Bar even though some who failed it deserved to pass more than I did. But with my fervent prayers, God inescapably gave me my heart’s desire.

I still pray the same way. You can imagine my prayers now for Ira, huh? When I told my friend I pray for Pacquiao before his every fight, she laughed and found it amusing. Maybe because prayers are all I have at times. When I’m stressed, I just sigh a prayer to God. For someone who has the same age as mine, I am an overly stressed person. I have too many worries because I have so many things to take care of.  That is why sometimes, prayer is my only way of release.

Right now, I have a special but silent prayer to God. I don’t know how to ask it from Him but I know He hears me. I have asked many things from Him and I know He will give me this if today is the right time. 🙂

In my previous post, I have mentioned about what keeps me (and my mind!) busy right now. Ira will be turning one year old in 4 months and we are thinking of the party we can possibly have for her.

So far, I already received around 12 proposals from different restaurants. I have underscored one or two that stands out but nothing final as of yet. I am looking for some more, I want something that offers more food, and which is more lenient with the decorations and doesn’t charge corkage for the extra food that we may bring in.

Today though, we are celebrating her 8th month birthday. As a monthly tradition, we have dinner at home every 15th of the month with family and a few friends (if some luckily passes by). Nothing fancy. Just pansit and a few viands and cake and/or ice cream. If it falls on a weekend, I make a dessert or a salad (which is often a try-out for me).

But since I have work today (whew!), I will just cook when I get home. But I already instructed Ate Kriselle to prepare everything so that I will just focus on the cooking part later. Tonight, we will be having the undying pansit bihon, stuffed bangus, bulalo, and lechon kawali. Mama Tess (MIL) will bring Ira’s cake and we will buy Ice Cream later. Oh, and I will be making cheese sticks too. We have to make use of all that cheese after Christmas. So pardon the menu, but they will be quite an unhealthy pack. I am still at the point of giving guilty food to the family.

Before I started with my post, I called up Ira and asked how she is doing. Ate said she was just munching on the phone’s cord. Haha. I talked to her and greeted her. Ate said she was just smiling. My baby is just completely adorable.

Yesterday, when her daddy was about to kiss her goodbye before we left for work, she held on to daddy’s clothes and stood up. She clung on to him that hubby was left with no choice but to carry her. We took her outside the gate until we left, and as we bade goodbye, she was just intently looking at us. Our hearts broke into tiny crumbs.

My dear Ira, continue to be the good girl that you are. Mommy and Daddy are doing everything for you. My heart is promising you that this will just be a temporary set-up. Someday, Mom and Dad can stay with you longer and we’ll have lots of time to giggle and roll on the floor. I miss you for every minute that I am not with you. I never knew happiness could be this real, until I had you. I always thought motherhood was overrated. But now I know that no words can express how special mothers and children are to each other. You made me realize that. You make me a better person everyday with my little blunders and with each lesson I learn from taking care of you. I know you will learn more, and I know you will be better than I ever was. And you will make Mommy proud, just by being who you are.

Thank you for making my each and everyday a lot happier, just by being my baby.

I love you so much Ira. Happy 8th months! Please don’t grow up so fast though, I am trying to savor each month. 🙂

my little one

7 months old ira with mommy, december 13, 2009

Party Planning

Ira will turn 8-months old on Friday, January 15. Few months away she will be one year old already. I feel like I was just in the delivery room last month, now she is pulling things her hands can get a grip on and just endlessly blabbering.

Since Monday, I have been trying to search party planners, magicians, venues and what have you. I only tried to call today and believe it or not, even though Ira’s birthday is still four months away, most venues are already booked. I have checked forums and blogs on ideas on the venue but I did not realize that I would already be having a hard time.

Hubby and I were thinking that since Ira’s birthday falls on summer, maybe it will be good to have a pool party or something in an open place like a clubhouse. To my surprise, not only are the prices quite steep (considering you’d have to pay for a caterer and party decorator separately), most of them are booked.

I called up first Palladium in Shaw Blvd., Mandaluyong. It is near our place and it would be very easy for guests to locate it since it lies along Shaw Blvd. But whad’ya know?! “Sorry Ma’am, we’re already booked on that date” was the answer of the woman on the other line. Pfft. Whatever. This made my venue-hunting frustrating. First option is already out.

And all other clubhouses I called are also booked on Ira’s day. Talk about dilemma, huh?

I am currently exchanging emails with Active Fun and with Kiko’s Balloons and Events Services (the latter claims to work under the budget you give them). I want to see their rates and I am hoping I can work out a deal with any of these suppliers soon.

I want to start with the planning while I still have more time. I don’t want to procrastinate (just like in my wedding and Ira’s baptism). I want to make Ira’s 1st birthday extra special. I don’t intend to be so ostentatious with the party. I just want to make it something people will remember Ira by and something that my baby will be proud of when she grows up.

I have to start working now. Gotta go. I will update you once I have concrete details already. 🙂

I am currently in a limbo. My dear Ira has no Yaya and we have to go to work. After New Year, her Ate Kriselle has been AWOL and has been giving me headaches. Let me spare you the story as to how she did it for it will take a long one.

Kriselle’s mother worked for my Ima in Pampanga until my berserked Ima fired her. Now she doesn’t want me to take back crazy Kriselle. I understand Ima’s point. After nearly 29 years, I have come to understand my mom’s idiosyncrasies. We are both each other’s best and worst friend. She has been the one who hired all my housemaids before, and some unfortunately left citing her as the reason :(. She has exerted too many efforts into finding me the best maid there is, to no avail. When I was still single, she found me a girl named Car-car, who worked for me more than 2 years. Car-car is the best that I’ve had so far. Ima is my agent when it comes to nannies. But when she doesn’t like the nanny anymore, even though I still like to keep her, she gets annoyingly mad and in the end, she gets her way.

But right now, I have very limited choices. My hubby and I did not come from an affluent family. We did not inherit a house to live in, a business to manage and monies to spend. As we are just starting new, we are at the point of acquiring things and paying for them. We are both lucky to have jobs that pay fine. Combined together, our income is just enough for our daily expenses and some luxuries. That being said, I cannot  afford at the moment to be a stay-at-home-mom. Oh how I wish I could!

Even when I was single, I used to hire a house helper. It was more of convenience for me. I needed someone who will look after the house everyday. I needed someone who will wash and iron my clothes. Don’t get me wrong. I know how to do ALL household chores. Its just a perk I have gotten used to. After all, I felt I was entitled to lay around the house whenever I wanted to. It was some sort of reward for working all day long.

I have lost count of how many housemaids I have had in the past. As to Ira’s nanny, I think she has had five already in just 7months of her life. Count out the two months that I did not hire one after giving birth. So on the average, its like one nanny every month. Neighbors think we are some mean people who would boss around the house that’s why these maids leave as soon as they receive their first paycheck. Oh, come on now, they oughta know better than that!

Even if there is a maid in the house, in the past and even now, its either my brother Jme or I who works in the kitchen. I clean Ira’s feeding bottles as soon as I get home. Hubby prepares her milk and clothes and other things every morning while I take a bath. I personally wash Ira’s little clothes. For me, nothing beats the feeling of personally taking care of my family’s needs. Even the maids notice that I work around the house more than other wives, considering that I have a full time work.

As I called up home just now, Ate Kriselle is already there. Hubby and I intend to talk to her seriously. As in, serious adult talk. She said she is willing to go down her knees just for us to take her back. She assured me that she’s willing to be jailed if she leaves again (as if!). I am keeping my fingers crossed that I made the right decision. As I’m typing down my blog, my heart is fervently praying to God that things be better this time. Ira needs someone with her and Kriselle has proven to be good for her. Had it not been for Ira, I wouldn’t need a maid. It would mean less expenses for us.

This is what I told Ima in our last text exchange when she said that she was talking to a new replacement but I opted to take back Kriselle and that I was taking Kriselle’s side:

“Ur reason is jst the same as ate nida’s. Pareho nyo lang gs2 protektahan mga anak nyo. U know dat I understand u and I appreciate all ur efforts in finding us a gud maid. Pero kung may mhanap ka ngyn, jst like crisel and other maids b4, wlang kasiguruhan na tatagalan kami. C crisel ngyn alam ko na ang topak, easier to cure. Kung magkaron ng bago, tuturuan ko na nman tpos di ko alam likaw ng bituka, mangangapa na nman ako. Hndi ko cla dinadamayan, anak ko lang ang iniisip ko. I am putting aside all my emotions and anger and giving Ira wat I can.” (pardon the text spelling, quoted verbatim here.)

Right now, most of my decisions are not about me anymore. It is either about Ira or the family as a whole. I am sure in time Ima will understand.

UPDATE: Ate Kriselle seems okay after a week. But my Ima is still annoyingly angry at me.