i have been writing since i was in high school. believe it or not, i have been paid by classmates to write for them love letters or poems. i had no proper training except for journalism during elementary for barely a year. looking back, i wish i had taken proper trainings. maybe then i would have written better, won contests more, and became a professional writer.

my mom said she always sort of knew that i will become a lawyer. in retrospect, she swayed (or brainwashed?) me that this is what i really want to become. she detested all other ideas for courses i wanted to take and made me take up A.B. Political Science as my pre-law. it was political science or accountancy…i opted for the lesser evil (in terms of math subjects). 🙂

after graduating high school, i did not immediately scout for universities. i did not know back then that as early as october prior to graduation, classmates have been taking aptitude tests everywhere. i was limited to UST, because it is just beneath the street where we used to live in sampaloc. i took the exam for journalism for my 1st choice, psychology for my 2nd, and music for my 3rd.

unfortunately, the school said i did not make it for my first two choices. sigh. i realize now that no school should say that on a fifteen year old girl. you may be ruining a dream and you may be psychologically dredging her confidence as a person. i do not, and will forever refuse to accept that i did not pass the exams for these courses. i can remember vividly that they said that i had low scores for science and math. my question now is so what? what’s science and math got to do with journalism anyway? to this day, i do not understand. they could have just told me the ugly truth–that the quota for these courses have been filled up already and that they just allowed me to take the exam for my money’s worth.

i went ahead with the idea of conservatory of music. i told myself i will just shift courses when i get into the university. it appears that there is another exam for the course (which came with a separate fee, of course), so i took it. i chose my major as voice, for i do not know how to play any instrument. i was totally thrown when they announced after that there will still be an “audition” in order to categorize your musical inclinations. i thought, uh-oh. but i decided against it when they said that this “audition” comes with a fee again. i said, okay, that’s it! enough of this non-sense. i went home to my mom feeling ridiculed all along. i realized i never saw myself as a singer, or any of that sort. i have always dreamed of it, but never really was into it.

so i went to feu, the school where my mom got her bachelor of laws degree. it was already may of 1997 when i took the entrance exam for mass communications. i got in and was thrilled to realize that i do not have to be an out-of-school youth after all.

come enrollment time, i was told that the uniform for mass com students was a culottes. the child in me refused the idea, and my best buddy chubby who accompanied me in enrolling persuaded me to just enroll for PolSci since we are both taking up law afterwards. so, after very little contemplation, i took up PolSci. i do not regret such decision, but the mature person in me now is wishing that i should have taken up accountancy instead. i would have learned math anyway. i would have been a CPA lawyer now. i would be earning more now, and i would have had more choices for work. however, i know that breezing up college prepared me for the difficult law course. my brains were not as bruised as my cum laude classmates.

sometimes though, i wish i had taken up journalism. maybe i would be writing better now. maybe i am a correspondent for a newspaper now. maybe i would be more eloquent and will have a flair for words. but then again, i would not be the person i am now, right?

my mom always said that i have a way with words. she always said that i write better than my classmates. she became my professor on my last year in college, and she said she should know. she always said that i would have been a better student have i studied more. in the bar exams, she said that she had no doubts that i can make it to the top had i read and studied more. she always encouraged me in ways that only she knows.

i may have inherited my writing skills from her, but i still wish that i have gone through proper trainings. maybe then i would be using different words now, and i would have been writing with so much ease.